Family

Being a mom when your mom has passed

“Death ends a life but it doesn’t end a relationship that lives on in the mind of the survivor.”

I don’t like to write “sad” posts because it really isn’t my personality to dwell on things that are not positive.  However, being a mom when your mom has passed is something that has really challenged me over the last 10+ months.  Let’s be honest, living life without your mom is hard and as new life chapters start not having your mom there to help guide you through the challenges and the triumphs is something you are constantly re-learning how to deal with. I often times have found this article helpful. It reaffirms that it is ok to mourn and that with new life events that sorrow may hit you like a brick wall.

For those of you who do not know me personally my mom passed away not even a month after my wedding, it was somewhat sudden and unexpected… she had had health issues but had been seemly doing very well. It was quite a heartache to deal with.  My husband was and is wonderfully supportive, as well as, my friends and family. Honestly, without them I am not sure I would be where I am today.

It is hard to not be able to pick up the phone and call my mom whenever I have a question or wonder “was I like this as a baby?!” I couldn’t ask my mom how her pregnancy was or what I was like as a newborn.  Those are things I NEVER processed five years ago when she passed away… and when these new situations creep up, the emotions can come on full force.  Sometimes honestly a simple comment someone makes one Facebook about their mom will bring up though feelings, because honestly life can be very bitter sweet without when you hit those life milestones and wish your mom was there to share it with you.

So what have I done?  I reach out to friends and family.  I have a loving mother in law and mom friends that are there to give me advice and support.  I talk about my mom to others with less fear these days…. you know you don’t want people to “feel sorry for you”.  I allow myself to feel sad and know that it is okay to still grieve and be upset.  I read a blog post of an acquaintance from college who lost her mom and it has resonated with me [PS you should follow her journey about being BRCA1 +].  In the post it talks about how you are allowed to have a poor baby day. Everyone has days to feel sorry for themselves but her mom’s rule was that that you only got one day, after that, you had to pick yourself up and keep on keeping on.

I absolutely love that advice and have kept with it.  It is OKAY to have a bad day but know that tomorrow you will be better! Another affirmation that I like to live by is “not every day is joyful but there are bits of joy in everyday.”

If you every need to talk please don’t hesitate to send me a message.  Grief and sorrow are always changing and new challenges present themselves [especially with motherhood and other defining life moments].

MOM

XOXO Gabbing Ginger

 

Beauty, Cosmetics, Empties, Favorite, Favorite Things, Makeup, Maternity/ Pregnancy, Shameless Plugs, Things I Love

Empties- 2.0

I am back at it with this month’s update on my empties! And what do you know… EVERYTHING can be found at my favorite store Target!

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Up & Up Diapers– LOVE these diapers.  I would say that at night I do like to go up a size though for extra protection!

Aveeno Clear Completion: Sometimes about foamy soap makes me happy.  This cleanser is gentle on skin but works! I love how it leaves my skin feeling soft and clean.  Definitely recommend.

Nature Made D3: These are vitamin D pills.  After having Tripp during my yearly lab work I was found to have a vitamin D deficiency [thanks sun-screen] so because of that I started taking these.  I have noticed that my energy and mood have improved and there is LOTS of research to show support in taking vitamin D because of the health benefits! Recommend these vitamin D pills.  Of course talk to your doctor before taking any medication!

Bio-Oil: I used this after pregnancy because after I had Tripp all of a sudden I had stretch marks. This has really helped keep my skin moisturized and the stretch marks are mostly gone and what are left are really faded.  Definitely recommend.

Crest Prohealth Advanced Toothpaste: I felt this toothpaste cleaned well.  It was not my favorite taste and the cap WOULD NOT STAY SHUT.  It drove me bananas. I would recommend a twist top Crest instead.

What products are you loving right now?

XOXO Gabbing Ginger

Entertainment, Favorite Things, Things I Love

5 Ways To Put Quality Back Into Your Time Together

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Quality time can come in many different shapes and sizes, bear various levels of importance, and have a variety of unique definitions. These variables all depend on each person’s perception of what quality time means to them. One of my favorite celebrities eloquently summed up quality time in a way that really hits home for me: “I don’t think that the quantity of time is as special as the quality of time with your family.” – Reba McEntire. I love this quote for numerous reasons, but what strikes a chord with me the most is the fact of how relevant the quality vs. quantity struggle can be.

As the wife of a Certified Public Accountant, the time I’m able to spend with my husband is incredibly limited between the months of January and April. I know I’m not alone in being married to a career-oriented individual, and I’m quite sure that a lot you can resonate with the fact that quality time together can seem like a distant memory. I’ve noticed that even little things like watching a TV show together have turned into us half paying attention to the show, half paying attention to social media on our phones, and zero percent paying attention to each other. Sure we’re spending time together, but where is connection between us? We’re just two bodies sitting next to each other, barely interacting (and definitely not in quality way).

In world where there is so much going on around us and the distractions are infinite, how do we make the most of the incredibly limited time we have together? Disclaimer: I’m no expert. However, I do have a few ideas to help incorporate quality into the quantity of time you spend with your loved one(s).

  1. Engage Each Other – And no, I don’t mean put a ring on it. When you’re together, encourage open and engaging conversations. Step out of the “how was your day?” mindset and try the “what happened in your day that challenged you?” line of thinking. Ask open ended questions and show interest in the answers you receive. You’d be surprised how quickly deep, meaningful discussions can stem from a few thought-provoking topics.
  2. Put The Phone Down – I can not stress this enough. We are living our lives behind screens and losing touch with the reality that is all around us. Hey, I’m not pointing fingers as I’m just as guilty. But do you really have to Snapchat your dinner? Do you need to be the first one to like on Facebook that your junior prom date checked into a restaurant 964 miles away? I think the world will survive without seeing you post about your yoga class. Put the phone down and actually live your life with the person by your side, not with your Instagram followers who barely know your name.
  3. Take On A Task – One of the more relationship-building ways to spend quality time together is when you’re both working towards the same goal. Set out to accomplish something that’s been on your to-do list; paint a room, put together some furniture, clean out the basement. Working as a team can be rewarding and makes the time spent doing something you may not want to do a lot more enjoyable. Just remember to bring your patience and grace to the task at hand, fighting over the instructions of how to build a dresser isn’t going to help with the whole quality time concept.
  4. Get Out And Do Something – Go on a walk, take a bike ride, or run errands together. Get out of the house and do something. One of my favorite activities is playing tennis and my husband is such a good sport about tagging along. While this activity may not cultivate intellectually stimulating conversations and push us to get to know each other on a new level, it does show me how much he loves me. He is participating in something I have a passion for and that is a big deal to me. Not only is he giving up time that could be spent doing something he really enjoys to support me, he’s making and effort and taking interest in things that we can do together.
  5. Little Gestures – Something that I love to do during the long tax season days is bring my CPA hubby a treat to the office. Froyo and coffee are my main go-tos and two of his favorites. We’ll usually have a 10-15 minute “mini date” while sitting in my car, catching up about our days. It’s a little gesture, on both of our parts, that allows us time to actually spend together. 15 minutes of chatting, laughing, and just having a break in the day does both of us a world of good.

When I realized the amount of time spent together is insignificant compared to the quality of time spent together, I made changes to my approach. As Adlai E. Stevenson so perfectly stated, “It is not the years in your life but the life in your years that counts”. Think about it. Time is the most valuable and scarce commodity we have, make the most of it.

I’d love to hear what quality time means to you and how you’ve found a balance between quantity vs. quality of time!

 

About The CPA’s Wife

I’m a late twenties fashion forward foodie and dark beer drinker born and raised in the Chicagoland area. Being married to a CPA is a unique world to live in, where for approximately three and a half months each year my husband goes down the rabbit hole that is known as tax season. My two dogs do a great job of filling the void of children (for the time being) and I’m actively involved with helping the homeless (both people and pets) in my area. Wanderlust runs in my veins and I’m always looking for my next destination, especially during tax season. Who doesn’t yearn for a post-April 15 getaway?! I have a family-first mentality and an undying love of football, New York style pizza, and puzzles. I am always searching for new recipes, DIY projects, and life hacks in general. Everyone’s experiences are different and being the spouse of someone very career-oriented, I often find myself seeking out others who are in the same boat. You can find my blog at www.thecpaswife.com and follow me on social media @thecpaswife.

 

Dates, Entertainment, Family, Favorite Things, Shameless Plugs, Things I Love

Fort Worth Favorites

I am back from a quick trip from the sunshine state and I am ready to talk about some of my favorites in Fort Worth again!

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Food/Beverage

Press Cafe: This place is YUMMO and right on the Trinity with lots of grass for the kiddos to run around.  It is great for breakfast, lunch and dinner! Great drinks too! 

Mama’s Pizza: The best to grab pizza and beer. It isn’t a fancy place but the crust is the BEST. Love that I can go in a ball cap!

McKinley’s: A great lunch spot with the ladies and kids and they have SO many fun desserts!

Club’s

Ridglea Country Club: LOVE how family oriented they are and the kids club is great!

Fort Worth Club: I love their lounge to go grab drinks and have good conversation.

Activities

Z Boaz Park: This is a small quaint park that we love to pop in and swing at. It is clean and surrounded by trees!

Shop

Initially Yours Monogramming: The best place to go when you need to find a gift!

 

What are you favorite Fort Worth spots?

XOXO Gabbing Ginger

Things I Love, travel

Traveling with a baby tips & tricks

We are about to head off to Florida for my Grandfather’s 90th birthday! What a blessing to have this man in my life and Tripp’s life. That brings up a topic that I remember as a new mom being so worried about.  Traveling with a baby. Well eight flights later, and I feel like so far, so good!

Honestly, even as a high needs/fussy baby he did AMAZING!!! People were SO great and helpful. I have only had one flight where I heard someone say something under their breath about being near a baby (and Tripp then showed off by sleeping the whole flight).

Tip #1: Check out my GabbingGingerBabyPackingList! Also, check out this packing list for mom/dad here.

Tip #2: Schedule flights during nap time

Tip #3: Feed baby during take off and landing to help their ears.

Tip #4: Babywear (but bring a stroller for back up, you just check it at the gate)

Tip #5: All of the new surroundings will provide good entertainment but bring a few toys and their paci if you are lucky enough to have a kid that will use one (Tripp was NOT about them).

Tip #6: Try to relax (remember EVERYONE was a baby at some point in their life)

Tip #7- Keep breast milk/formula in containers and bags unless it is being drank by the baby (so just fill a small amount for take off/landing).  I found the Doctor Brown Bottles that we LOVE pressurize and will leak EVERYWHERE when you have liquid in them. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

I am a little nervous again to fly with a  bigger baby but I have some tricks up my sleeve!

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Trick #1: I am bringing some new dollar bin toys for him to explore [YES I know some of these have 3+ on the age but since I will be sitting with him the whole time I am not concerned]

Trick #2: Fun fun new snacks to munch on.

Trick #3: I also plan to walk to aisle when we can just to give us a break.

Trick #4: I am going to try downloading some cartoons from Amazon and netflix.  I have heard through the mom crowd that this can happen! This will give me another distraction even though he usually doesn’t get much screen time, travel doesn’t count lol!

What are your go to tips and tricks when traveling with kiddos?

Wish us luck!

XOXO Gabbing Ginger